A year ago this week, I saw Dear Evan Hansen for the first time. I was up in Seattle for a library conference, I had a free night and I got a last minute ticket. I was literally as far back in the theater as you could be, second balcony, last row. I knew nothing about the plot, only that people really liked this musical, and was looking forward to it. And it blew me away. I was a sobbing mess at the interval and introspective on my walk back to the Airbnb. The soundtrack was on my phone in the next hour and I listened to it the whole drive back to Portland the next day.
Season tickets meant I got to see it again on last Wednesday, almost a year to the day, with my mother as it came to Portland. And once again, it was just breathtaking. I didn’t cry as much as the first time, knowing what was going to happen this time around, but I was a bit weepy as we went to intermission. It was great getting to see it again and I went home wondering if I’d ever get another chance.
Well, driving around Saturday night, I got a text that immediately beeped onto my Fitbit. It said Dear Evan Hansen Lottery so I quickly pulled over to check. I’d signed up with the ticket lottery for tickets and I’d won for the following night. I had one hour to purchase two $24 tickets if I so desired. Which, of course, I did. After texting my friend Mary if she wanted to go with me, I happily continued on my errands. The lottery doesn’t tell you what seats you got, just that you got some, so I was kind of excited by the air of mystery that came with these tickets. Walking up to the box office Sunday night, I said as much the clerk when I gave him my name and ID. Coming back, he smiled and went “Well, how about some front row seats?'“
Y’ALL. WE WERE IN THE FRONT ROW. I could have reached out and touched all the actors at any given time. It was absolutely spectacular. It gave me a newfound appreciation for the cast and crew because we were so close and everything was flawless. Little props you wouldn’t be able to see unless you were as close as we were were word for word perfect, even switching out photos for the understudy who was playing Connor that performance. You could see the tears running down Evan’s face in scenes as the actor properly cried. You must get so dehydrated doing that show. Like the mom friend I am, I tweeted at the actor playing Evan in the interval that he was doing a good job. Gotta be the supportive friend even to people I don’t know.
This was just a lovely experience and I’m so happy I got to share it with my friend. The next play we see is Frozen in March, which I am looking forward to!
The preparations for the tournament continue. Here’s what I’ve read this past week.
(I’ve decided to start each with the back cover copy to save time writing summaries.)
The Testaments by Margaret Atwood
More than fifteen years after the events of The Handmaid’s Tale, the theocratic regime of the Republic of Gilead maintains its grip on power, but there are signs it is beginning to rot from within. At this crucial moment, the lives of three radically different women converge, with potentially explosive results.
Two have grown up as part of the first generation to come of age in the new order. The testimonies of these two young women are joined by a third: Aunt Lydia. Her complex past and uncertain future unfold in surprising and pivotal ways.
As a big fan of The Handmaid’s Tale (the book, I haven’t seen the show), it was inevitable that I would read this book eventually, although I don’t think I would have picked it up yet if if weren’t for the shortlist. I tend to be slow with things like this. I’m glad this made me read it, though, because I enjoyed it just as much as the first one. Despite it being a good six or seven years since I read the original book, only a few quick googles were required to remind me of things and keep me in it.
The writing is strong and fast paced. There are a couple of like … really bad puns in it but at the same time, I kind of loved that? Switching between three narrators also kept it pretty fresh, not letting you get bogged down in one narrative but keeping you on your toes. If you like Handmaid’s Tale, you’ll like The Testaments. It’s definitely worth a read.
Optic Nerve by María Gainza, Translated by Thomas Bunstead
The narrator of Optic Nerve is an Argentinian woman whose obsession is art. The story of her life is the story of the paintings, and painters, who matter to her. Her intimate, digressive voice guides us through a gallery of moments that have touched her.
In these pages, El Greco visits the Sistine Chapel and is appalled by Michelangelo’s bodies. The mystery of Rothko’s refusal to finish murals for the Seagram Building in New York is blended with the story of a hospital in which a prostitute walks the halls while the narrator’s husband receives chemotherapy. Alfred de Dreux visits Géricault’s workshop; Gustave Courbet’s devilish seascapes incite viewers “to have sex, or to eat an apple”; Picasso organizes a cruel banquet in Rousseau’s honor . . . All of these fascinating episodes in art history interact with the narrator’s life in Buenos Aires—her family and work; her loves and losses; her infatuations and disappointments. The effect is of a character refracted by environment, composed by the canvases she studies.
Firstly, this book is like 190ish pages so it’s maybe the fastest read of the whole shortlist? Despite this, I’m still not quite sure what I think of it. It’s told in self-contained chapters that reveal a little about the narrator and a lot about whichever artist is paired with that chapter. The bits about the artists are incredibly interesting and I enjoyed learning more about the historical figures. I was also quite interested in what was going on with the narrator, who seemed to come from a well off Argentinian family. There are more hints about her life than actual story and while those hints were tantalizing, it didn’t feel like they ultimately payed off.
This is a great quick read and I enjoyed it while I was reading it but I can honestly say that it didn’t stick with me. I think I wanted a little more substance. I would definitely pick up this author again, though. Or, honestly, read a nonfiction book by her because the sections about the artists were great. Definitely one to pick up if you’re interested in Buenos Aires or art history.
On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong
On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous is a letter from a son to a mother who cannot read. Written when the speaker, Little Dog, is in his late twenties, the letter unearths a family’s history that began before he was born — a history whose epicenter is rooted in Vietnam — and serves as a doorway into parts of his life his mother has never known, all of it leading to an unforgettable revelation. At once a witness to the fraught yet undeniable love between a single mother and her son, it is also a brutally honest exploration of race, class, and masculinity. Asking questions central to our American moment, immersed as we are in addiction, violence, and trauma, but undergirded by compassion and tenderness, On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous is as much about the power of telling one’s own story as it is about the obliterating silence of not being heard.
Everyone has been talking for ages about this book. It’s a novel written by a poet and it definitely feels like that, in both good and bad ways. I’m not a huge poetry person so there were some passages that didn’t hit me the way I think they wanted to hit. Every once in awhile a line made me roll my eyes (I know! I’m sorry!) but overall, it was incredibly beautiful. It felt like there were two parallel story lines: the one about his family and the one about his experiences with Trevor, a boy he connects with in his teens. I found the writing about his family incredibly moving, though potentially triggering for people in abusive households. This was what I wanted to read. The story with Trevor, while well written and clearly important, felt a bit second fiddle in comparison. Although the book is fiction, its very clearly auto-fiction so I’m afraid to criticize too much. I’m glad I read it. I look forward to reading more from Vuong. But it was about 50/50 for me.
Your House Will Pay by Steph Cha
In the wake of the police shooting of a black teenager, Los Angeles is as tense as it’s been since the unrest of the early 1990s. But Grace Park and Shawn Matthews have their own problems. Grace is sheltered and largely oblivious, living in the Valley with her Korean-immigrant parents, working long hours at the family pharmacy. She’s distraught that her sister hasn’t spoken to their mother in two years, for reasons beyond Grace’s understanding. Shawn has already had enough of politics and protest after an act of violence shattered his family years ago. He just wants to be left alone to enjoy his quiet life in Palmdale.
But when another shocking crime hits LA, both the Park and Matthews families are forced to face down their history while navigating the tumult of a city on the brink of more violence.
What was really great about this book is how it made you grapple with your sympathies. Both protagonists are dealing with family trauma, trauma that affects the other in ways they don’t even know when the book begins. But the book never absolves them or points a finger. It just shows how hurt to one is hurt to all. It was hard to read at times, just because it got really intense at points. I appreciated it taking those turns, though. There’s a twist that I saw coming a mile away but that didn’t make it any less heartbreaking. I felt especially for Grace, the sheltered daughter in her late twenties living at home (I swear I’ve almost saved up enough to move out!) which made the journey she goes on incredibly powerful to me. It was a hard read but it was entirely worth it. I’d definitely recommend it. The last four pages especially blew me away.
Movie Pass Molly took herself to a late night horror movie the other week because why the heck not? As you all know, I will see pretty much any horror movie, regardless of how good it actually looks and I am pretty scared of the ocean so I was intrigued by Underwater. It seemed to be giving off major Alien vibes, with Kristen Stewart as a Ripley figure, which you know I was down for.
The movie is a thrill right off the bat. It’s mostly in real time, starting with a disaster and following a small group of survivors as they try to get themselves to safety. The only problem is there may or may not be eldritch-y monsters following them, trying to eat them. It’s honestly a lot of fun? Because it’s action from the get go, there’s not a lot of camaraderie and jokey-ness that Alien got to play with but it keeps you hooked. The whole cast is great, especially Kristen Stewart. I was a little surprised T.J. Miller was in it, but it turned out to have been filmed back in 2017 so that makes more sense. As much as I dislike him in real life, he was good in the movie. The nonstop-ness of it kept the pacing up so it never really dragged.
The two highlights: character design and character deaths. I mean, obviously some people are going to die. That’s just the kind of movie this is. But they had a lot of fun with new and exciting ways to kill people off on the bottom of the ocean. Am I 100% sure that the physics work correctly? Not at all. Was it fun to watch people explode multiple times due to water pressure? Yes. Yes, it was.
And the monsters! The monsters were so fun! There were three basic types: a tiny, baby one that had intense facehugger vibes, the normal one that kind of looked like a squid and a jellyfish were trying to become Slenderman, and then a huge, Cthulu-esque monstrosity that, the first time it came onscreen, actually made me gasp. Whoever came up with the concept designs for these guys really made the movie.
Was it an amazing movie? No. Was it pretty darn fun? Very much so.
I’m trying to think of ways to play with this newsletter and I’m curious what you guys think. There are two things I was thinking of trying out.
1) Open Threads! Open Threads are posts where you guys can comment and chat with me or amongst yourselves. I think these would be super fun and with my new schedule, I think Tuesday mornings might suit me best. Would that be something you guys are interested in doing? Here’s an example from one of my favorite newsletters, Nicole Knows:
2) Audio Posts! Substack sent out an email about incorporating audio into newsletters and it rung a bell in my head. Back in the good ol’ days, when I used to post on Livejournal every day (for almost ten years!!), I used to do “voice posts” which was basically calling a phone number and recording a phone message that would then post onto your journal. Substack wants you to do more podcast-y type stuff with their audio options, I think, but part of me wants to do an old style phone posts and just … chat at y’all. Does that sound at all interesting? Is there something in particular you’d like me to talk about? Maybe tell an anecdote or talk about a book series or … something?
You can reply to this email and let me know your thoughts! I would really like to hear from you!
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