Horror Movie Dispatch #9
And another, super-long, super-late summer Horror Movie Dispatch because apparently I’ve been unable to type for several weeks now. I don’t know why this has been so hard, my focus has been all over the place, but fingers crossed I get the hang of myself again soon.
Movies I Saw This Summer
I was a fan of the first Megan movie. It was self aware enough to know it was ridiculous but it was still telling a pretty standard horror story underneath all of that. Megan 2.0, in my opinion, threw out what made the first one shine and leaned too hard on the cheese. The set up, that the plans for the Megan doll had been leaked to the government and now there’s another killer doll out there we need to bring Megan back to fight, is really clever! Honestly, it’s basically just Terminator 2. But this version was too aware of the memes the original had spawned, too tongue-in-cheek. I also didn’t like the ultimate ‘AI are people, too’ message it kind of pivoted to halfway though, especially in the current climate. Just keep it to robots and I’d be fine but the ‘we must live alongside AI’ tone at the end really cemented the disappointment for me. Oh well. I still like the first one.
I Know What You Did Last Summer
Meawhile, the newest I Know What You Did Last Summer was delightful. Paying homage to both the original movie and the changes in the horror and true crime landscape since the original came out, I think this was incredibly fun. I definitely lands better if you’ve recently rewatched the first one (I watched it the night before I went) but is still fun in its own right. I love that they brought back members of the original cast, I love that they played with the roles so that the teens/twentysomethings you think would graft on to personalities from the original do things differently and mostly, I just love that it was fun. I love me a proper, fun slasher.
Sometimes you just have to go check out the Pete Davidson horror flick and it’s surprisingly not bad. Our hero is a down on his luck Pete Davidson (in a role clearly written for someone ten years younger than him) who, after yet another run in with the law, gets sent to do mandated community service at an elderly folk’s home out in the middle of nowhere. If he screws this up, it’s prison so he’s on his best behavior. This movie works best when Davidson and the various residents are interacting, as the genuine friendships he forms are the best parts of the movie. Of course, there is something mysterious happening on the top floor he’s not allowed to visit and there are hints not everything is as it seems (and a whole ridiculous mess of a third act that I can’t say was great but was definitely entertaining) but honestly? This was much better than it had a right to be.
The fact that this is the highest quality poster I can find for this film says everything I need to say, honestly. A found footage movie about three youtubers who investigate a haunted house that no youtuber has ever investigated before which, ultimately, goes very badly. I’m a sucker for found footage, I love when youtube/podcasting/etc is incorporated into movies, and I hated this. Guys, it is just absolutely terrible. All the characters (all three of them) are just completely annoying and unlikable, I really didn’t care if they died. I did, sadly, want to know how the movie ended (there were some good ideas in this withered husk of a film) so I stayed through the whole thing but the minute the credits ended, the girl behind me in the theater went “Well, that sucked” and I have never agreed with an opinion more. Not worth it. Do not seek it out.
This, meanwhile? *Chef’s Kiss* Formatted as a sort of Netflix True Crime documentary, this follows the investigation into Mr. Shiny, a occult serial killer who has returned to hunt in Southern California after a twenty year break. There seems to be no rhyme nor reason for who he goes after and things may or may not be supernatural. This is exactly the kind of movie I adore: creative, clever, telling a fairly standard story in a new and exciting way. The various people interviewed were spot on for that kind of documentary (especially the two lead cops) and I found myself not wanting this to end. I also very much appreciated that, while they showed almost all the human victims of Mr. Shiny, they blurred out the one animal victim. This movie understood me. It was only in limited theaters for like a week (tragedy!) but once it comes out on streaming, I highly recommend it.
I saw Together and Weapons in a double feature on a Saturday and starting with Together really was the right choice. Ironically, I was sat between two couples and as we watched, they were both annoying in different ways. The straight couple to my right, the boyfriend kept laughing overly loud to annoy his girlfriend. The gay couple to my left, one kept trying to mansplain things that were happening to his partner in a non-whisper (“That’s a Chekov’s gun! Do you know what that is? Well, there was this Russian playwright…”). All in all, this feels almost like more of a perfect description of the movie than a summary would do. A couple who probably should have started going to therapy years ago, instead move out to the middle of nowhere for her job (he’s a musician). They get lost in the woods. Then they start to kind of melt together. It’s not a great movie and watching the relationship disintegrate is much cringier than the body horror but I did enjoy it, despite the best efforts of terrible boyfriends.
Much like its predecessor Barbarian, Weapons is a movie best gone into blind. I went in only really having seen the poster and with the knowledge that it was about a town where one second grade class went missing. I’m glad that’s all I knew going in so I’m not going to say much here other than I enjoyed it, it was funnier than it had a right to be, and despite that, I do think I liked Barbarian better. I’m curious how I will feel on a rewatch, though.
I’m not going to do a long outro here because I also owe you all a regular Book Mail which I am going to try and get out later this week so that will have the little update on my life. However, if you’re in the DC area and you like comics, Small Press Expo is this coming weekend and I’ll have a booth there! Come say hi!
This is my first ever convention on the East Coast and I’ve heard how great SPX is for over ten years so I’m very excited about it. Plus, I’m sharing a table with my good buddy MK Reed (Aisle M for Molly and MK!) and my pal Maya is going to be my table buddy so even if I make absolutely no money (god forbid), at least I get to spend the weekend with friends.
I’m behind on my newsletters so I’ll get the next Book Mail out hopefully on Wednesday (I’ve read some good books!) so keep your eyes open! See all you kids on the other side! Stay spooky!