Horror Movie Dispatch #7
Sorry for the lateness of this newsletter! Alas, my beloved laptop bricked on me an hour after the season finale of 9-1-1 Thursday before last and I was without it for a good week. Most of this newsletter was typed on my very old desktop, at my desk, like I am some sort of business person or a highschooler in 2004. The flashbacks.
Anyways, shall we?
I, like a lot of folks, had mixed feelings when I saw the trailer for this. Cause I love the Until Dawn game, I have such great memories of it, and what I saw in the trailer? Was Until Dawn in name alone. Other than a bunch of teens caught in a spooky situation, this seemed to have no connection to the game. And now, having seen it? I actually think this movie will mean more to folks if they’ve played the game than if they go in blind. The set up: a group of teens are following the last known footsteps of one of their older sisters who went missing last year. They get stuck in a sort of time loop in the middle of nowhere that resets each time they all die. Of course, eventually, it might not reset. It didn’t quite know if it wanted to be serious or tongue-in-cheek and I wish it had leaned more on one side or the other but honestly? It was more fun than I expected. And I really liked the tie in to the game at the end, something that worked so well if you’ve played the game and I think would mean almost nothing to people who haven’t. So, um, take that as you will, I suppose.
Set in New York, a young wall street broker is called on the eve of a blizzard to identify her estranged grandmother’s body before the paramedics arrive. She, of course, gets snowed in and also there may be a demon around? This movie had the ingredients to be good: a theme of first generation immigrants and the clash between roots and trying to thrive in the new country, misunderstandings between generations, magic. But it just could not thread the needle. Our heroine, Rosario, makes an assumption pretty early in the film that is so clearly false and it takes her an hour to realize it. I know you’re usually yelling at the protagonist of horror movies to make better decisions but it’s usually not out of sheer frustration. You know when a movie gets made and shelved but then one of the actors gets a little big so they make a bigger deal of their place in the movie than it deserves? Anyways, sad to report David Dastmalchian is barely in this movie and still remains the best part. Skip this one, 1000%.
A horror account on twitter that I like (@BrowseHorror) said of this movie “Clown in a Cornfield must go hard if you’ve never seen a horror movie before” and that was all I could think while I watched this. Very much a stereotypical slasher where teens and adults in a small town in Kansas (??) clash before the teens start being taken out by a mysterious clown. I’m pretty sure they were trying to go for a theme of ‘generations need to learn from each other to get on in the world’ but it didn’t quite make it. There were some very funny moments, especially a few times where they subverted the tropes they were employing, but overall it was pretty meh. Still a fun night at the movies, though.
This is one of those movies that was either going to be super fun or absolutely terrible. My opinion? Pretty fun! A group of livestreamers go down to a former cult site in middle of nowhere Louisiana for a big livestream event and things start going wrong. Told completely through phones and apps, we’ve got our up-and-comer, our tutorial couple, and the most famous but a huge douchebag, Chad. I think it made really good use of the format, there was actual character development (?!?!?), and it made the point it wanted to make about streaming, creating content, and how people view and treat other people super well. This was … a good movie?? Who would have thought?!
I am, and will always be, a sucker for a Final Destination movie. Some are, of course, better than others (they are all better than 4) and it’d been so long since we’d had one, I wasn’t sure how this one was going to go. And y’all, it was great. Our opening disaster is at the opening of a Space Needle-esque restaurant in the 60s and it is spectacular. Definitely going in my top three disasters for this series. It then flashes forward to modern day and the descendants of those that survived, the kids and grandkids who never should have been alive. It plays with the lore, it has some very fun deaths (I laughed out loud at least three times in the theater), and the cast is super great. A very worthy addition to the franchise that I look forward to watching again.
I’ve also seen Sinners twice more since last time we checked in, including in 70 mm at the AFI which was the way to see it. I was with three good friends, two of whom hadn’t seen it, in a crowded theater with folks hooting and hollering and yelling back at the screen. Highly, highly recommend that kind of viewing.
Since I’ve last written, I’ve started a new job! While I adored the bookstore and my coworkers (seriously, some of the coolest people I’ve met since I moved here), I was offered a position that was a significant bump in pay, was a regular 9-5, and had health insurance. So, alas, it didn’t make sense not to take it. I did one final week at my beloved bookstore (everyone was very understanding and made me promise not to be a stranger) before starting the new position.
One last cool thing from work: someone just walked in on Saturday with a first edition Twelve Years a Slave! Just like … in a tote bag! It was wild and so so cool. We priced it at $7500.
Now I work at, get this, the Franciscan Monastery. I’m their admin assistant and so far I have: written a few letters, taken some dictation, and edited an article for the magazine. It’s incredibly chill, everyone is very nice, and there are gorgeous gardens on the grounds I’ve been eating my lunch on. So far, so good!
I’m attempting to get my friend Jack to watch more horror with me so everyone cross your fingers. Hopefully I can get him to come over soon to watch Late Night with the Devil, a great film I have watched perhaps too many times but there’s always room for one more. Also convinced a buddy to watch Final Destination for the first time last night. Spreading the good news of horror movies, one friend at a time.
Some good movies coming out in June so we’ve got things to look forward to. And there’ll be a new book mail next week. So all in all, I’ll see you soon! Stay spooky!
Good luck on the new job! What a dream work location. I hope it's everything you hope for! With benefits!!