Well, to distract from the true horrors of today, I’m sending you a special double issue of Horror Dispatch since I kind of dropped the ball last month. Let’s go!
Horror movie written by and starring Nick Frost? Sign me up! This tale of a cabbie who abducts a couple (who really should have broken up already) kind of fizzles out at the end but I was very much along for the ride (pun intended.) Frost is so good at switching between endearing and terrifying, man needs to be in more horror movies.
Who doesn’t need a little prairie horror in their life? Sarah Paulson plays the mother of two girls stuck in the middle of nowhere in the dust bowl, her husband off trying to make money via a new deal program. And, of course, mysterious things are happening but how much is real and how much is in her head? The young actresses playing the daughters did a wonderful job. And honestly, the real terror here is the dust bowl itself. You can feel the grit as you watch and seeing the aftermath of getting caught in a dust storm … yeah, no thank you.
Ahaha this movie is ridiculous in the best way. Very much a creepypasta-esque story of a mysterious children’s video tape that seems to appear in little free libraries (??), a Mr. Roger’s type show that appears to children who have poor home lives who eventually go missing. We follow a mother who lost her son to Mr. Crocket as she tries to track him down. This movie is silly in the extreme, lots of reveling in knowing how ridiculous watching a giant puppet eat a man is but it was pretty darn fun, too.
I had heard this movie was good and it did not disappoint. Set in Paris, a girl summons an ancient spirit after an act of violence and while the spirit does avenge her, it then starts taking out her friends one by one. While saying I enjoyed this movie might not be the proper verb, it pulled me in from the get go and kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time. The end got me. And also, a way you know it’s good: it was subtitled but my dad was still 1000% into it. It takes a lot to get that man to watch a foreign film.
A couple head out to her childhood cabin (along with her family friend) so he can try hunting to write an article about it. The family friend clearly always had a crush on her, the energy is weird, and she sends the two guys out to hunt together as she doesn’t enjoy hunting anymore. Things do not go well. My problem with Out Come the Wolves is not actually its fault. Halfway through the film, I paused it and told my dad what I thought was going to happen (I am like that, I’m sorry.) And then I preferred my own plot over what actually happened. Anyway, if you watch Out Come the Wolves, please send me a message so I can tell you the better ending. I promise you will love it so much and be so impressed with me.
Double Nick Frost newsletter! And with Aisling Bea, to boot! I do not understand how this movie was not promoted more, I barely found out about it before it went out of theaters and was lucky to catch it the last night it was there. The elevator pitch for this one is ‘typical English family goes on vacation to the Midsommar village’ but it is a lot more than that. Every actor is giving 1000% at all times, I was giggling hysterically through most of it, and the last act is just so manic, it’s just incredibly fun. Highly, highly recommend.
What if you opened a restaurant but it drove you crazy? I know what you’re thinking: that’s every chef. But no, this one has witches! I’m being silly but I actually really enjoyed this film. Our heroine gets picked to head up a new, fancy restaurant in the middle of nowhere but the place might be haunted and eating the strange vegetables from the garden might be delicious and deadly. Another one of those ‘are weird things happening or are you just losing it’ stories but grounded by good acting and how legitimately weird it would be to be stuck in an old house in the middle of nowhere and told to cook the fanciest stuff in the world. I enjoyed!
I hadn’t even heard about this movie until I found it trying to find something for my dad and I to watch on a Saturday afternoon. Fairly well known cast, prequel to famous movie (which I didn’t know but called as I was watching it), how was this not advertised at all??? Our girl is a dancer in New York in 60s who injures her ankle and has trouble getting parts. An older couple takes pity on her and lets her stay in their spare apartment, making her their project and trying to get her life on track. Clearly they have no ulterior motives. This movie is stylish and fun and maybe the only movie with a date rape scene depicted as an old timey dance number. Really enjoyed this, super recommend.
Hello, it’s me, the one person who didn’t really like Nosferatu. I wanted to! That cast! The period accuracy! A weird vampire guy! So many things up its alley! But I feel like every time I watch a Robert Eggers movie, it ends and I go “…. yeah, okay.” You know the plot: newlywed man gets sent to foreign castle to get weird vampire guy to sign for his new house, young wife plagued by weird vampire guy. Weird vampire guy shows up. People die. I think what really made me go ://// was that Eggers said this was inspired by Nosferatu, rather than an adaptation and then … didn’t change anything. If you’re going to use inspired by, change the bad parts! The original movie was from the ‘20s: there are maybe some themes you could update. Dracula, the original novel both movies steal from, doesn’t punish women as much as either of those movies do and it was written in the 1890s. And it had a cowboy. Do better.
This is getting long and I feel like that Nosferatu opinion might annoy people so I’m going to stop here for now. I’ll let you wonder what my opinion on the movie Stopmotion until the next issue.
Today is a lot, much more horrific than anything I’ve mentioned here, and I’m just one lone newsletter writer among all of this so I can’t promise you anything. But if it’s any comfort, I’m going to do my best to be kind, help others, and stay aware as we begin this stupid cycle again. I’m here if you need me, don’t hesitate to reach out. All we can do is our best. 💕